Despair not. Light is on the path. Serve all. Love truth. Be serene. Meditate regularly. You will soon attain the life beatitude, the silence, the supreme peace. Even when you get a glimpse of the truth, of the supreme, your whole life will be changed. You will be a changed being. You will have a new heart, and a new wisdom. A new thrill of spiritual current will pass through your entire being. A wave of spiritual bliss will sweep over you. This state is indescribable.
There is no use committing the same mistake again and again and resolving every day to avoid it, but with no success.