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Glimpses of the Self

By experiences, pleasant and painful, man gathers materials and builds them into mental and moral faculties.

As a merchant closing the year's ledger and opening a new one does not enter in the new one all the items of the old but only its balances, so does the spirit hand over to the new brain his judgments on the experiences of a life that is closed, the conclusion to which he has come, the decisions to which he has arrived. This is the stock handed over to the new life, the mental furniture for the new dwelling, a real memory.

The mind which ever rises and falls with the ebb of desires, fancies this illusory universe to be true through its ignorance; but it should be informed of the real nature of this world, then it will cognise it to be Brahman itself.

During meditation you may experience that you are rising from your seat. Some experience that they fly in the air.

Various persons get various spiritual experiences. There cannot be a common experience for all. It depends upon the temperament, mode of Sadhana, place of concentration, and various other factors. Some hear melodious sounds in the ears. Some see lights. Some get Ananda (spiritual bliss). Some get both Prakasha and Ananda.

If there is any error in Sadhana (meditation), at once consult the senior Sannyasins or realised souls and remove the mistake. If your general health is sound, if you are cheerful, happy and strong physically and mentally, if the mind is peaceful and unruffled, if you get Ananda in meditation and if your will is growing strong, pure and irresistible, think that you are improving in meditation and everything is going on all right.

The Divine Light comes not through open doors but only through narrow slits. The aspirant sees the ray as a sunbeam passing through a chink into a dark room. It is like a "flash of lightning." This sudden illumination chokes all sounds of words. The aspirant is spellbound in ecstasy and awe. He trembles with love and awe, just as Arjuna did when he had the Visvarupa Darshan of Lord Krishna. So bright and glorious is the Light environing the Divine that the initiate is dazzled and bewildered.

This is a kind of vision one occasionally gets during meditation. You may behold a dazzling light with abrupt motion. You may behold a head of marvellous form, of the colour of a flame, red as fire, and very awful to look at. It has three wings of marvellous length and breadth, white as a dazzling cloud. At times they would beat terribly and again would be still. The head never utters a word, but remains altogether still. Now and again there is beating with its extended wings.

During meditation the colour of lights that you see varies according to the nature of Tattva that flows through the nostrils. If there is Agni Tattva you will see red-coloured lights. If Akasa Tattva flows you will have blue-coloured lights. If Apas Tattva (water) prevails you will see white-coloured lights. If there is Prithivi Tattva you will have yellow lights. If there is Vayu Tattva you will see black colour. You can change the Tattva by various ways. But the best way is by thought. "As you think, so you also become." When the Agni Tattva flows, think intensely of Apas Tattva. Apas Tattva will begin to flow soon.

If you get experiences of the glimpses of Self during intense meditation, if you see a blazing light during meditation, and if you get spiritual visions of angels, archangels, Rishis, Munis, Devatas and any other extraordinary spiritual experiences, do not fall back in terror. Do not mistake them for phantoms. Do not give up the Sadhana. Plod on diligently. Break veil after veil.

March on boldly. Do not look back. Cross the intense void and darkness. Pierce the layer of Moha. Melt the subtle Ahamkara now. Svarupa will shine by itself. You will experience the Turiya (Arudha state).

Sometimes bad spirits will trouble you. They may have ugly fierce faces with long teeth. Drive them with your strong will. Give the word of command "Get out." They will go away. They are vampires. They are elementals. They will not do any harm to the Sadhakas. Your courage will be tested here. If you are timid you cannot march further. Draw power and courage from Atman within, the inexhaustible source (Avyaya). You will come across very good spirits also. They will help you a lot in your onward march. These are all Vighnas or obstacles in the way.

Aspirants are eager to get spiritual experience soon. As soon as they get them, they are afraid. They are awfully alarmed when they go above body-consciousness. They entertain a passing wonder whether they will come back again or not. Why should they be afraid at all? It does not matter much whether they return to body-consciousness or not. All our attempts are mainly directed towards getting over this body- consciousness and being one with the higher spiritual consciousness. We are used to certain limitations. When these limitations suddenly drop away we feel that there is no definite base left to stand upon. That is the reason why we are afraid when we go above the body-consciousness. That is a novel experience. Courage is needed. Courage is an indispensable requisite. Sruti says: "Nayamatma Balahinena Labhyah." This Atman can hardly be attained by weak (timid) persons. All sorts of forces have to be encountered on the way. A dacoit or an anarchist can easily realise God because he is fearless. A push in the right direction is only necessary for him. How Jagai and Madhai, rogues of the first water, became very good saints? They pelted stones at Nityananda, the disciple of Lord Gauranga. Nityananda won them by pure divine love. Dacoit Ratnakara became sage Valmiki.

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